Mike (perturbedbeats) wrote,
Mike
perturbedbeats

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Can you see those lights? That's where I live...

I have been running around 5 days a week for the last 3 weeks or so.  It’s been great.  I feel a lot younger.  I run down to Juanita Beach park and run along the water walkway while people-watching and then run up a huge terrible hill that only a lunatic would enjoy running up.  On the way up this sick ass huge hill is the best part because it’s when I suffer.  I feel alive and in a struggle.  I must have struggle in order to find meaning in my life.  When I am dying making my way up this hill I hit a point where my whole body is pulsing and aching, great music is blasting on my ipod, and it feels very similar to the moment right before an ejaculation.  It is an intense and just wonderful endorphin high.

I get back to my apartment in Kirkland after my runs and I walk a while to cool down and  the other day I asked the higher powers, “Okay.  Just what am I supposed to be doing right now with my life?” and I heard the reply in my head, “Rest!  Just have fun and rest!  Big things are going to be coming so just rest for now!”  Maybe the voice is my higher self or I’m just hallucinating, but it has always been right.  I only converse with the higher powers a few times a year.  I think anybody can do it themselves if they really want to and they have an open mind.  Some people are so psychic they do it all the time!

I know the time has come for me to start speaking my mind.  I’ve got to take the time to get out of my comfort zone of my life I’ve fallen into.  At work, I spend virtually all my time in the lab and I’m so focused.  I have to take time to get out of the lab and talk to people outside of the lab.  I have to speak my mind when coworkers say something I find absurd.  I have to give the people around me honest feedback or else I’m not really fulfilling my responsibility as a human being.  I am so quiet all the time and I am so go with the flow that I don’t really have a persona anymore.  I have to gain the courage to be myself and tell people my honest opinions on things.  I’m going to try.

Being Emo as Fuck and listening to Casket Lottery
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