Mike (perturbedbeats) wrote,

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Monster Beats!

I have to be honest with myself.  I’m pretty much a completely different person from who  I was before my Return of Saturn (28-30 years old).  I used to only feel comfortable wearing old jeans and a t-shirt or hoodie, I hated money and politics.  Music and artistic creation were my refuge from the fakeness and bullshit of the world. Now I feel most comfortable in a sports coat and a nice collared shirt.  I’m a politician and a salesman.  I’m barely even motivated musically or artistically anymore.  I’ve become what I despised. 

But I can’t hate myself.  I’m just confused because I’m having to get to know my new self, which is completely different than the person I’ve been so far in this life.  And another thing is I’ve become very near to asexual.  Sexual experience whether shared or by myself used to be very much a tool for consciousness expansion.  I could feel my consciousness expanding out into the cosmos during these experiences.  Now, I don’t even think too often about sex, and I don’t even want to have sex unless it’s with the right person now and I spend very little time engaging in solo sexual experiences.  This is the state of my being.  I think whatever spirits are influencing me now are not too into sex.

Just spent a week in Atlanta doing sales in a big conference.  I was lucky because a product that had been at the research stage has just gone into production, and I’m one of the few people who know how to use it!  So I got to put on a suit and sell.  I must have done pretty well because I was invited to join the sales team of this company when they go to conferences all across the world every few months.  I hope I can pull this off as a part-time sales job.

Just bought Dr. Dre Monster Beats headphones.  Quite the investment, but the absolute best music listening experience of my life.
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